leadership roundtable hq

Despising You


Reasons People May Be Despising You 

The world is full of nice, pleasant and unpleasant, and interesting and uninteresting people, but once in a while, you might run into some who seem to constantly try to look down on you, deride, scorn, despising you, or put you down.

Sometimes it can even be your relatives, family members, or friends, which makes such encounters more painfully piercing.


Life is not linear”, Professor Ette, my Vector Analysis & Ordinary Differential Equations lecturer would say. Life is not always rainbowing and butterflies. We will encounter people who try to look down on us or put us down using:

  • derogatory gestures
  • name-calling
  • disapproval
  • constant criticism
  • ironic comments
  • belittling, discouraging, and disempowering micro aggressions.

Despising one sometimes it is subtle, and other times it is overt. In both cases, it can be reducing, humiliating, and frustrating.

But, as you can guess, getting aggrieved, reduced, frustrated, and agitated is not the way to deal with these sorts of people, otherwise, you have fallen into their trap and goal for despising you. Since these people are derisive or scornful, any unpolished response or reaction would only serve to fuel (or maybe even prove) their mockery, and disrespect thereby making them a winner. I see people who take pleasure in putting down others. This is why I want to provide a solution via this post. The bottom line is: Don’t give them that chance.

This is the message I give myself daily. Don’t let your critics or despisers win.

To deal with this type of person, you first need to understand what fuels or motivates them.

Secondly, find what their objective/goal is. Remember despising you is the only STRATEGY to achieve an OBJECTIVE. By doing so, you steal back your power from them and left them lost. Sure, you’re following? Let’s share some


The truth is that the act of despising people may range from conscious attempts to unconscious mistakes. Period. I’ll explore these reasons starting from the conscious to the unconscious.

  1. People Despise You Because They Are Narcissistic.

Some folks just want all the attention in the room, and in the world at large, at the same time. Aren’t they funny people?

Some people don’t like feeling insignificant or small. If they can’t succeed in drawing attention to themselves by their actions, they start trying to diminish the attention others are having for them to shine brighter. You can tell that they are obsessed with being noticed.

  1. People Despise You Because They’re Bitter.

Some people have a difficult tough life and have grown resentful over the years. They’ll just lash out at whoever is unlucky to be around them during their periodic bouts of unwanted behaviour. These are the types that may later apologize, but you don’t have to take their negativity. You are not a punching bag. They are bitter.

  1. People Despise You Because They Are Jealous.

Do you observe a flower never thinks of competing with the flower next to it? It just blooms. Jealous people do petty, petty things. They make sly statements to make your achievements seem less important, less great, less grand, or make your happiness less delightful or short-lived. You can tell they are jealous by the posture they take. If they don’t have what you have, yet seem to mock it, it is only a reflection of their jealousy. Understand this and don’t kill yourself.

  1. People Despise You Because They Are Egocentric.

Egocentric people can’t stand being under anyone. Experience leaders know this.

Egocentric may not be able to always be at the top and keep trying to make it seem as though they are at the top. This is usually a bad experience for anyone within their level. They talk down to you to have a sense of power or control, even if they truly don’t, and may never.

  1. People Despise You Because They’re Toxic.

Toxic people are some of the worst people to be in their company. Despising people is their way of life. After years of practice, it has become second nature to this type. These people have a lot of work to do to change their mindset.

  1. People Despise You Because They Are Narrow-Minded.

Narrow-minded individuals don’t like changing their minds. What they narrowly fix in their mind is final and fixed.

When an idea, notion, thought, or perception – no matter how wrong, or ill-informed – gets into their brains, it gets stuck. They may even conclude based on gossip and judge you wrongly, and without remorse, or willingness to hear your part of the story. That’s narrow-minded people for you.

  1. People Despise You Because They Lack Communication Skills.

These people simply don’t know how to connect with others.

Their words come out wrong too often. They may not mean any harm at all times, but they can hurt you nonetheless.

  1. People Despise You Because they were upset.

This can be anyone – it’s just a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Anyone upset can look down on the other if not disciplined enough.

Mike Ihezuo is an Author, Writer, and Speaker on Leadership, Entrepreneurship, and Success Motivation. He is worth hearing. He can be reached on Ad Inquiryhttps://mikeihezuospeaks.net, #LeadershipXcellence, @MikeOIhezuo and email: leadermikeo@gmail.com

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Dr Mike Ihezuo

Content Creator

Mike is a leader and leader’s developer, a speaker, an author and a prolific writer, a researcher and consultant. He invests life, time, energy, resources and money to empowering organizations desiring upward dive to top performance and individuals desirous of fulfilling their destinies, discovering purpose and seeking success towards significance. Mike, as a life coach, team builder, conflict resolutions exponent, motivational maestro, negotiation experts, corporate strategist, an entrepreneur and entrepreneurial developer, invites you to this LeadershipRoundTableHQ. Let’s talk and discuss so as to learn and GROW…


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